


The Forgotten Lute

by lotsofquestionslimitedanswers



Series: To Be Better To You [1]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt/Comfort, Jaskier | Dandelion Needs a Hug, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22459060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers/pseuds/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers
Summary: Jaskier shakes his head and says, “No, I—” he chokes on a sob. “I cannot take your coat!”Geralt puts the coat on Jaskier’s shoulders and says, “It’s cold.”“So? Maybe I’ll catch my death and,” Jaskier sniffles. “And you’ll finally be rid of me.”“Jaskier,” Geralt starts.Geralt’s voice is so soft. Somehow that only angers Jaskier.“Is that not what you wanted Geralt?” Jaskier snaps.“Jaskier,” Geralt says again.“Do not Jaskier me!” Jaskier yells. “Did you not just say that life would be giving you a blessing if—” Jaskier lets out a painful sob. “if you could…if you could get rid of me?”
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: To Be Better To You [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1616074
Comments: 26
Kudos: 617





	The Forgotten Lute

_Jaskier_

After bearing witness to the heart wrenching scenes of Geralt losing Yennefer and Borsch urging Geralt to find his Child Surprise, Jaskier decides to try to comfort his friend. He starts with a light tone to gauge how Geralt is feeling.

“Phew! What a day!” Jaskier chuckles as he walks over to Geralt.

Jaskier cannot see Geralt’s face because the witcher has his back to him. Hopefully Jaskier will be able to ease his friend’s pain. Perhaps some rest might help. Or Jaskier can offer to try to find them some food.

“I imagine you’re probably—” Jaskier doesn’t have a chance to finish before Geralt begins yelling.

“Damn it, Jaskier!” Geralt whips around, facing Jaskier. He stomps towards Jaskier as he continues yelling. “Why is it when I find myself in a pile of shit these days it’s you, shoveling it?”

“Well, that’s not fair.” Is all Jaskier can think to say.

 _Is_ it fair? _Is_ this true?

“The Child Surprise, the djinn, all of it!” Geralt yells.

Geralt does have two excellent examples. If Jaskier hadn’t asked Geralt to play bodyguard for him, Geralt never would’ve ended up with his Child Surprise. If that hadn’t happened, then Geralt wouldn’t have been searching for the djinn. If Jaskier hadn’t interfered with Geralt’s attempt to catch the djinn, then Jaskier wouldn’t have nearly died and Geralt never would have met Yennefer. If Geralt hadn’t met Yennefer, Geralt and Yennefer would not have broken hearts at the moment...at least not from each other.

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands.” Geralt growls.

No. That can’t be true.

Jaskier feels sick. He wishes Geralt would’ve gone ahead and hit him. That would hurt less than this. Jaskier’s grateful that Geralt turns around after speaking so Geralt doesn’t have a chance to see Jaskier struggle not to cry. Part of him has always feared this was where they were headed. Geralt constantly tells Jaskier to leave him, but has Jaskier ever listened? No. Of course he hasn’t. Jaskier has been far too stupid for that. He shall remedy that this time.

Hot tears prick at Jaskier’s eyes as he says, “Right. Uh…” He has to stop himself before his voice cracks. A sob builds in his throat and it hurts to fight it. He closes his mouth and shakes his head for a moment.

Jaskier’s so stupid. Despite all the times Geralt has insulted him and sent him away, Jaskier truly thought the two of them were friends. Jaskier doesn’t have many friends. He should have known better.

“Right, then.” Jaskier says as his mouth shakes. He takes another break before saying, “I’ll…I’ll go get the rest of the story from the others.”

He tries to will himself to take the first step to leave, but he cannot. Instead, he stares at Geralt for a few beats. Is Geralt really going to let Jaskier walk away? Just like that? After everything they have been through, is this really all going to end with Geralt telling Jaskier that the best blessing Geralt can receive is a life without Jaskier?

Jaskier tries to get Geralt’s attention again. “See you around, Geralt.” Jaskier says.

Geralt doesn’t move. He stands with his back to Jaskier.

Jaskier stares for a few more beats, hoping against hope that Geralt will change his mind. Hoping that Geralt will turn around and take it all back. Hoping that Geralt will ask Jaskier to stay. When that does not happen. When Jaskier can no longer take the silent rejection of his dearest friend. More specifically, when Jaskier can no longer fight back his tears and has to cover his mouth to muffle his pathetic little sobs, Jaskier walks away from Geralt. Jaskier hugs himself wishing for rain because otherwise, anyone he passes will know he is crying. Jaskier does not feel like getting attacked at the moment. Not that anything would really stop anyone from attacking him while he walks alone like this. He looks utterly defenseless…which he is. His father had been a knight who tried to teach him to fight when he was young, but Jaskier has never had the heart of a warrior to say the least. Jaskier had always been fonder of music…that was what got him kicked out of his home in the first place.

Jaskier reaches across his back for his lute and feels nothing. A horrid realization washes over Jaskier. His lute. He forgot his lute. He must go back for it.

Jaskier runs back from where he came. He tries to dry his eyes as he runs, but it’s hopeless. He hasn’t stopped crying yet. The fight with Geralt stirred up too many memories. He remembers the pain of his childhood. He remembers the rejection and pain and _so many_ hateful words.

_“Begone boy!” Father yells, shoving Jaskier out of the house._

_Jaskier staggers out the door and falls into a puddle. He scrambles to his feet and takes off away from his childhood home. Jaskier has no money, no friends, no family, no future. Nothing. He is nothing. Jaskier runs all the same. It is either this or his father will run him through with a sword._

_“Don’t you dare darken our doorstep again!” Mother calls after him._

_Jaskier promises himself that he will never return to this loveless place he spent fifteen years calling home._

Jaskier kept that promise.

Jaskier finally arrives at the campground to find Geralt sitting beside Jaskier’s lute. He is humming something. Jaskier takes a step back. Geralt is humming “Toss a Coin to Your Witcher.”

Geralt turns to face Jaskier before Jaskier has a chance to decide if he wants to hide.

Jaskier puts his hands up. “I forgot my lute.” he says, unable to look Geralt in the eyes. He winces as he hears how broken his voice sounds. This new rejection shouldn’t even bother him. He should be used to people getting tired of him by now…but he isn’t and probably never will be.

“I could have returned it to you,” Is Geralt’s grand reply.

Jaskier can feel more hot tears stream down his cold face. The air is chilly and there’s a slight breeze. It’s all Jaskier can do not to shiver. He needs to buy himself a better jacket. Without thinking, he hugs himself. As soon as he realizes he has done it, he feels even more pathetic than he had only moments before. He just wants to take his lute and leave. The sooner he is out of Geralt’s hair, the better.

“Well, I’m here now. Can I have it please?” Jaskier asks.

Jaskier can hear Geralt approaching, but still cannot bring himself to look at his former companion.

“It’s cold. Here, take this,” Geralt says.

Jaskier looks up to see Geralt handing Jaskier a coat…Geralt’s coat.

A new sob builds in Jaskier’s throat. Why is Geralt offering him his coat? Why grant him this kindness now that Geralt has made it clear he wishes to be rid of Jaskier?

Jaskier shakes his head and says, “No, I—” he chokes on a sob. “I cannot take your coat!”

Geralt puts the coat on Jaskier’s shoulders and says, “It’s cold.”

“So? Maybe I’ll catch my death and,” Jaskier sniffles. “And you’ll finally be rid of me.”

“Jaskier,” Geralt starts.

Geralt’s voice is so soft. Somehow that only angers Jaskier.

“Is that not what you wanted Geralt?” Jaskier snaps.

“Jaskier,” Geralt says again.

“Do not _Jaskier_ me!” Jaskier yells. “Did you not just say that life would be giving you a blessing if—” Jaskier lets out a painful sob. “if you could…if you could get rid of me?”

“I’m…I’m sorry.” Geralt says.

What?

Jaskier cannot recall the last time Geralt has apologized to Jaskier. Jaskier tries to search Geralt’s face for a lie, but Jaskier’s vision is blurry from tears.

“You’re what?” Jaskier whispers.

“I’m sorry, Jaskier.” Geralt says. “I spoke cruelly out of anger that was not meant for you. You do not have to forgive me for that, but I am truly sorry.”

Jaskier doesn’t know what to say.

“It’s getting dark. Let’s make camp and talk about this in the morning.” Geralt says after a few beats.

Jaskier nods, struggling to pull himself back together. He gives Geralt his coat back. Geralt tries to make Jaskier take it, but Jaskier releases it. The coat flops to the ground. Jaskier curls up on the ground beside his lute. Today has been exhausting. As Jaskier begins nodding off, he feels the coat placed over him, tucked under his chin like a blanket. The gesture brings new tears to Jaskier’s eyes and he falls into a sleep of confusion and conflicting emotions.

* * *

**Geralt**

Geralt set up camp, prepared food, saved some for Jaskier to eat later, ate his own dinner, and fed Roach all in a span of thirty minutes or so. Geralt unrolls his sleeping pad a few feet away from Jaskier in case his friend needs him in the night.

Geralt startles awake. He’s unsure why until he hears soft sniffles beside him.

He looks over and sees Jaskier crying in his sleep.

“Please,” Jaskier whispers. “Please don’t,” Jaskier dissolves into heartbroken sobs.

Geralt is at Jaskier’s side in seconds. He shakes his friend’s shoulders as gently as he can…which is not very gentle, but the best Geralt can do.

Jaskier bolts upright. “Please!” He shouts. He looks around frantically and flinches out of Geralt’s grip.

“Jaskier, you’re safe here.” Geralt says.

Jaskier scrunches his eyebrows together and whispers, “Geralt?”

“I’m here.”

“I thought you were finished with me.” Jaskier stares at Geralt as if he cannot believe Geralt is here before him. It’s a good thing the moon is bright tonight, otherwise Jaskier would probably not be able to see Geralt at all.

“No. I am not finished with you. I’m sorry. I’m so very sorry, my friend.” Geralt says. Geralt fears Jaskier may never forgive him for this.

Jaskier gives Geralt a heartbreakingly confused look. His mouth is open a little and his bottom lip quivers. More tears fill Jaskier’s eyes and he stares at Geralt until a harsh sob overtakes the bard and buries his face in his hands and cries.

Geralt hesitantly gathers the bard into his arms and holds him close.

Jaskier flings his arms around Geralt. “Please…don’t…send…me…away.” He sobs.

Jaskier cries often, but it’s usually a few tears over a beautiful sunset, being broken up with again, an excellent poem, witnessing a lovely wedding, things like that. Geralt cannot recall seeing Jaskier cry because of Geralt. He does not care for it.

Geralt wonders if Jaskier thinks he is still in a dream because Jaskier is not acting like himself. The bard never appears this desperate to stay with Geralt. Perhaps this is how Jaskier always feels…maybe Jaskier just wants _one_ person to want him to stay. Geralt wants Jaskier to stay with him. It’s just that being a witcher is dangerous. Geralt will die a gruesome death one day. He does not want Jaskier to see that.

“Never again. I am so sorry.” Geralt finds himself saying. Although Geralt is surprised that he said it, he knows in his heart that it is true. He will never send Jaskier away again.

“Promise?” Jaskier looks up at Geralt with those big blue eyes of his.

Geralt would give his friend the world if Jaskier asked for it while looking up at Geralt like this.

“I promise.” Geralt says.

Jaskier’s mouth shakes again and he nods as new tears spill down his face. Jaskier hugs Geralt a little tighter, burying his face in Geralt’s chest.

“Never again; I promise. Never again.” Geralt says over and over until Jaskier stops crying.

When Jaskier stops crying, he removes himself from Geralt’s grip and says, “Sorry for crying. I overreacted.”

“You do not need to apologize for feeling.” Geralt says. “I hurt you. You do not need to apologize for showing your hurt.”

Jaskier looks away from Geralt and sniffles.

Geralt puts a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder. “I am going to be a better friend to you. I have taken you for granted.” Geralt says.

“Well _I_ knew that.” Jaskier gives Geralt his classic shit-eating grin.

Geralt can’t help but smile at his friend…his best friend in the whole wide world. He really does need to treat Jaskier better.

“I made dinner earlier. Are you hungry?” Geralt asks.

Jaskier nods.

Geralt gives Jaskier the food he set aside for him.

“Thank you.” Jaskier says.

For a few moments, the two sit in silence.

“Does this mean I get to ride Roach?” Jaskier asks.

“Hmm,” Gerald says. That means Geralt will have to walk sometimes. That will not be the worst thing in the world. Jaskier does it all the time.

“Come now! You said you would treat me better. That’s a way to start.” Jaskier teases.

“You will have to speak to Roach about that.”

“That’s not fair! Roach hates me!”

Geralt chuckles.


End file.
